Lacking myself

I dont recognize myself anymore. I felt I am being shredded, into very tiny pieces, tiny slices of uneven identity. There is also a certain time also, I felt like giving up everything. I am real afraid of losing passion, and more, losing myself to something. Something that I do not know what it is, maybe something that I am lacked of which I have not a single hint what is it. I have everything, yet I am lacking. Emptiness, is chasing me, bringing me to the egde. The edge of bothering mountain, in a slight flash, I afraid I will fall down the cliff, into ocean of sorrowland and being attacked by shark causing numerous bleeding holes in my body.

Tired. I need a peace of mind. To find out what I really want. What I am lacking. If this is caused by PMS, I will be relieved, but my instinct didnt tell me so. and I hate my instinct because it kept telling the truth that I do not want to hear.