Patient

Today must be a day that I thought will never happen, I choose to come out from my blanket eventhough I do not know what will this lead me too. The feeling is strange, I am not relieved or neither do I felt worried. That is the strange thing about. The whole day was spent really leisurely. I walked step by step, observing people around, read mind through their facial expression, what color of the shoe they wear, guessing what are them thinking, and also listen to random conversation that was going on. I did not rush a single moment, even though I knew that I might be left behind, by bus, by crowd, by train or maybe rain. For the impatient me, this is the first time I felt the nature flow. Beautiful.

Two random stranger(at different time) came to ask for my direction. I smiled because I had help someone today. I smiled because that proved I am approchable. And I smiled because I am acceptable. How simple life can be.

Today is also the day I think the most of myself. Using my own ruler, i measure my selfishness, my impatient, my expectation, my past behaviour, my attitude. I got the measurement, but I do not know the acceptable standard. I felt helpless, especially when all these my's involves something more than me. Will the rain washes away every doubt, leaving the surface I wish too see, will dream and expectation merge together with reality. I do not know. For sure this rain will at least wet my shoes even i am under the widest umbrella I have.