moodless

I felt like slamming the laptop
for it to stop staring at me,
I felt like knocking all the handphones to the floor
As if they disturb my freedom,
I felt like hugging something until i collapsed
knowing I wont,
I felt like whacking something with my fist
as it wont bleed,
I felt like kicking everything in front of me
as if I am not wearing a skirt
I felt like shout out of my lung
so that my words do not torture me inside
I felt like rolling on the floor
as if the floor is as clean as the one at my home
I wish to sunk myself inside the pool
to make myself suffocated
so that I know I am still alive
so that I can take the deepest breath
to prove that I am still exist.